Camping Courage

“Adventure takes risks; risks encourage us to be daring, and being daring takes courage.”

Two weekends ago, my husband, Chris, took me on a camping adventure — to escape our busy life in the city and find some rest and recharge in nature, down in the valley — the region where we both grew up. This wasn’t just any ol’ camping trip — this was a special trip to celebrate our 12th wedding anniversary.

For those who may know me, you would know that I am not typically a camping kind of gal — I’m more of what you call a “glamper.” 

My idea of camping is finding myself in an insulated cabin, running water (and sure, I’ll take warm water too), a fireplace, stove, bed, and sure, you could throw in some electricity as well.

I do enjoy not being connected to everyday life and finding myself surrounded by beauty, mother nature. There is this beautiful energy of calm that you feel when you're in the great outdoors — and perhaps even more so when isolated. 

And during my recent excursion out in the woods, I have certainly realized just how much work it takes to plan and prepare to make it even one-night camping. For those of you who spend time backwoods camping, with very minimal items, and can make fires so that you can cook over it, set up a tent and survive in the great outdoors, I have great respect for you.

Chris had to teach me about packing light - let’s just say, I had to remove a bunch of clothing (and a pair of shoes) from the pile :)

This would include my husband. I am thankful that my husband knows what he is doing when it comes to camping. He LOVES this stuff. He’s great at packing light, planning what he will need to survive and navigating through the great outdoors.

Me, not so much … 

Let’s just say; he is teaching me a lot about the camping experience.

My husband planned this great weekend away — we would spend two nights camping and then one night in a small boutique hotel in Wolfville — the beautiful town where we got married 12 years ago.

I'd say this was a great compromise - spend some time roughing it in the woods then a night in a small, but a gorgeous town, where we could enjoy the comforts of a delicious meal (not from a bag), and taste some local wines, and feel refreshed by a hot shower and a cozy bed.

But first we were camping.

Our outdoor adventures usually take us to Black River Lake, Nova Scotia, Canada.

This is a special place for us.

Chris and I in 2004 when we first started dating. He surprised me with a canoe ride and picnic, at Black River Lake. This was my first time canoeing.

When Chris and I first started dating back in 2004, he took me out on my first canoe trip. He packed a picnic, and we set out for our first adventure together. 

Gazing out at the surroundings in 2004 on my first canoe trip to Black River Lake.

He brought me back to Black River Lake years later, where we had spent a night camping on one of the islands there. This particular trip was an overnight trip. And at the time, I wasn’t too sure about camping in a tent, but I felt a bit more secure knowing that we would be stationed on an island.

I told myself that bears wouldn’t be able to find me on an island — like seriously, would they even want to make an effort to swim across the lake to get me? I told myself whatever I needed to hear to make myself feel safe in the great outdoors. We had packed way too much “stuff” (the cooler was overpacked with food and maybe more beverages than we needed). We had all of the sleeping gear and cooking gear — and we loaded up the canoe and had to portage our way from the road to the water. 

Our first overnight camping trip on a little island in Black River Lake, in 2016.

If that wasn’t exhausting enough, we then paddled our way across this massive lake to find our spot. We had planned to camp out for one night, on this particular trip — and thank goodness, because I barely got any sleep that night — sleeping on the solid ground with rocks and everything else underneath jabbing me in the back. 

I told Chris, it would be a very long time before I would even consider another camping trip. 

Fast forward to two weeks ago — our third adventure to Black River Lake.

This particular trip was a bit of a different excursion ...

It’s a beautiful, warm, sunny, Friday afternoon, Chris and I started this adventure by driving to our location — a beautiful, isolated area, in Black River. We unloaded the car, carried our bags down to the shoreline and hopped (well gently got into) the canoe waiting for us. 

The beginning of our camping adventures (Black River Lake, August, 2020)

The lake is relatively large for the area. I’ve always found the lake itself to be a bit creepy. To me, the water is murky and darkly stained.

The black water, which is coloured due to a chromophoric process of dissolved organic carbon, the result of downed trees due to damn construction, wetlands, and the coniferous forests in the catchment.

I’m not super fond of swimming in water where I cannot see beneath me — I’m scared of fish, tadpoles, or even a piece of grass touches my leg while I’m in the water. But this lake is quite interesting to see — despite feeling a little terrified of falling in the lake and not knowing what lies underneath the canoe, there is something to be said about floating through a lake that once was a forest.

To paddle through an area where huge rocks are sticking out of the water - and floating by tree stumps, sporadically located in the lake — makes me wonder or imagine what the area used to look like years ago before the area was dammed. 

One of the many tree stumps situated in the dark waters of the lake (Black River Lake, August 2020).

We’ve taken our canoe out for a ride around the islands there, but it felt a little different for me on this day. I felt a little extra nervous. Perhaps it was because it’s been some time since I’ve been out in the canoe. I felt a little shakier, less confident in my ability to move about on the water, even though it was calm.

I had one job — to paddle on one side and be on the lookout for the large rocks (to avoid hitting them), which might I add, could barely be seen beneath the murky, dark water. If we hit the rocks, it meant that we were entering an area with low water levels.

We explored the area — paddling around the many islands — finding a place to land so that we could set up camp. And on this "meant-to-be" enjoyable experience, my dear old friend, anxiety, decided it was going to attempt to join this adventure.

Suddenly, I felt the tension, where I thought about every scenario that would spin me into fear — I started to get agitated when Chris would as so much move about the canoe, causing the boat to feel off-balanced. I was getting frustrated with myself for feeling this way — not feeling a sense of gratitude because I wasn’t taking in all of the beauty at the moment. My only focus was getting off the water, out of the canoe, and onto the next task.

Where the heck was this coming from, and it felt like it came out of nowhere. 

I thought about how anxious I was to leave home — to rush to get out of the house and into the woods. I just wanted to be there — escape out of the city and into nature, but here I was, in it, and not fully taking it all in, because of fear. I was scared we would tip over, lose everything in the boat, and be left stranded in the middle of this massive lake without a way to contact anyone.

I shared this with my husband, who God love him, was supportive and reassured me that we were ok.

I had to do a mental reset at that moment. I was permitting myself to pause. Permission to be present — even though it felt uncomfortable. I needed to feel what I was feeling, say it out loud and move on from it.

The benefit from taking a pause allowed me to get clearer and gain greater access to my inner wisdom, feel connected to my surroundings, and help recharge my energy so that I could fully enjoy and participate in the camping experience. 

And the more we paddled around, the more confident and less fearful I became.

This was fun.

The sun was shining down on us — clear skies above, and the sound of nature surrounded us.

This is life.

Slow-pace, no plans and just being!

And so it was at that moment, where I had to think about how I would transition from a space of crisis and chaos (where every day I hear emergency vehicles, cars, news and all of the external noise), then be in a place of peace and calm. 

I had to shift my mind to my new surroundings.

The sound of the peaceful habitat took over. The sound of the paddle moves in and out of the calm water, the canoe gently gliding through the lake. You can hear the leaves rustling across the lake, and the gentle wind whistling around trunks/disturbing the leaves.

As I looked up in the clear blue sky, I saw a large bald eagle soaring high above us in the distance ahead — moving in the direction to which we were heading. 

I took a deep breath in — breathing in the air of the earth, and then a full breath out — breathing out the worry, anxiety and stress — and at that moment, I reminded myself of the power of the eagle.

This sighting encouraged me to let myself be free and soar. Free of fear, free of responsibilities, deadlines, time, and be present in the moment, I am surrounded by beauty, on a camping trip with my husband — who had spent so much time, effort and energy planning for this anniversary trip away. I wanted to honour this experience and time together. It took several moments of reminding myself of this, but it helped me to be present. 

We continued paddling through the lake, exploring a few coves/inlets — attempting to find a spot to land. 

We made our way to the shoreline. 

We found a beachside area that offered space to cook on the beach and set up our tent behind the beach, in the woods. 

We pulled the canoe out of the water, and then we walked through the forest area — searching and assessing the area for our tent. While we explored this area, we discovered a beautiful opening in the forest — it looked magical. The sun rays were beaming into this particular area, and we thought this might be the spot. 

Now, we had specific requirements for setting up our tent. You see, my husband purchased what is called a suspension tent, or some may call it a tree tent — which is a hammock, but you have the covering of a tent. 

Setting up our suspension tent (aka tree tent), for our first night in the woods (Black River Lake, August 2020).

I think Chris knew what he was doing when he purchased this tent. He knew that the last time we “tented” in the woods, I did not enjoy sleeping on the ground. When he bought this tent, of course, I got curious. 

We found three stable trees to attach the tent to, and I will say it was kind of fun putting this thing together. So then we get it all together, and then we start preparing supper before it got dark, and we relaxed by the water.

It was starting to become dusk, and I was beginning to become anxious … again.

Sunset on the lake (Black River Lake, August 2020)

The moment of enjoying a beautiful sunset over the water was quickly interrupted by the looming fear.

"Okay, let’s pack everything up," I said to my husband. Let’s get rid of the food, and anything that could lure in animals.

Again, here goes my brain, “it says to me — remember last time when you were camping here when you were terrified of bears, but then you realized you were on an island and that a bear wouldn’t swim to the island and bother you. Remember, you told yourself that? Well, guess what, you’re not on an island tonight, you are in the bears' habitat. 

There is a massive forest behind you - to the sides of your tent and in front of your tent. It’s getting dark, and the animals are going to start waking up and moving about.”

I’ve never felt the urge to clean so quickly in my life. 

Again, my husband knows how to respond to me at this point. He acknowledged that I am feeling anxious about this next part of camping. So we pack everything up, and some items underneath the canoe and settled into the tent.

So it’s now dark, and we are laying in the tent — we have moments of conversation and moments of quietness — stargazing and listening to the sounds of nature — the water moving in and out of the shoreline, and sounds of crickets and loons in the distance. 

And then … I hear a shallow grumble …. OH NO, you don’t … I said out loud to my husband. There will not be any snoring tonight — my thoughts — if any animal hears us, they’re coming for us.

 I’m sure I could hear Chris’ eyes roll in the darkness.

And as he tried to comfort me with words and logic, and encourage to rest, I tried breathing and again focusing on the brightest star in the sky.

Moments later, Chris was sound asleep. It’s only been a half hour or so, and it has felt like 2! 

I’m still awake. 

I’m still awake because I hear something moving about around us. Maybe it’s underneath us. We were suspended in the air, so there was an opportunity for animals to walk beneath us. I started to imagine a family of skunks puttering through. I imagined porcupines, raccoons and bears moving about, around the tent. 

"What’s an escape plan?" I don’t remember talking about this. What do I have to protect us? What if the animal gets Chris and I am left stranded — let’s be honest, if we’re going by the theory of survival of the fittest — in this situation, it would not be me.

I can’t make this up. My brain will play the worst tricks on me.

My heart raced so quickly, and I was consumed by fear. How on earth (literally) would I be able to sleep — I started wishing that sunrise would happen, so that I could see my surroundings.

It’s midnight now, we’ve been in this tent for 2 hours. Chris woke up and got out of the tent to strap a sleeping bag under the tent, to give us a bit more heat inside. Once he finished, he got back in the tent, and I finally fell asleep soon after. I think I was just so exhausted from thinking about all of the potential scenarios. 

A peaceful morning in our tent (Black River Lake, August 2020)

The next morning, I naturally woke up with the daylight. I took a min to reflect on the evening. And while it wasn’t exactly how I anticipated the first night in the suspension tent to go, I had to chuckle about the whole experience. 

Exploring the forest … and hoping I don’t run into any animals! (Black River Lake, August 2020)

We laid in the tent, with an incredible view of the lake through the trees, laughing about the whole experience in this tree tent.

We made brunch on the beach, and then explored the land before heading to the next destination — a cabin on an island. Yes, I was ready for this next evening’s accommodation, on an island and enclosed by solid wood.

On the next part of the journey, we canoed to a cabin that belongs to our friends on this island in Black River Lake. It was another day of relaxation. We dipped in the lake and observed the many small islands around the area. 

It was peaceful. I felt peace.

The next day, we had plans to stay at a boutique hotel in Wolfville. We packed up our belongings again, loaded up the canoe and began our journey back to shore.

It was the end of the camping adventure.

And do you know what was most incredible about this trip? 

We saw an eagle every time we were in the canoe and paddling towards the next destination - from the shore to the beachside camp, from there to the cottage on an island and from the island back to our original destination. 

We saw an eagle three times. 

I'm not sure if it was the same eagle all three times, but it appeared every time. Seeing this majestic creature reminded me of the opportunity I have to soar above the obstacles faced in life.

There were lots to think about on this particular trip— especially in terms of fear, and the fear I chose to hold and the fear I decided to release.

I’ve acknowledged that camping takes courage sometimes, especially if you are not familiar with the environment and camping experience.

It takes courage to put yourself out in unpredictable elements where you may not feel like you have sufficient skills to endure. 

This was a camping adventure that taught me many lessons; not only the lessons of surviving the outdoor elements but also how to live and be free.

Thanks for reading!

With Love & Intention, 

Martina

Martina Kelades, Life Out Loud

Mental health trainer, consultant and speaker, and podcast host, Martina has over 10 years’ professional experience working as a Personal Development Counsellor and Instructor. She holds a diploma in Social Services (Addictions Counselling concentration) from the Nova Scotia Community College (NSCC), as well as a BA (Hons) in Psychology from Mount St. Vincent University. In addition to her education, Martina is a certified and active Mental Health First Aid trainer, a national, certificate, training course through the Mental Health Commission of Canada.

Martina’s most recent creative project, Life Out Loud Podcast, officially launched in May 2020. To tune in, search Life Out Loud Podcast, now streaming on iTunes, Spotify, or wherever you find podcasts!